I feel like I am pregnant, but I got fixed on 4.9.2010 so I’m not and never will be again. I had brown miniscule droplets that tinged the toilet paper when I wiped 3 days ago, but I took a test at lunch today and I’m not. I had to pee 20 times each on Saturday and Sunday and I have gas (and therefore a dull ache) that keeps getting stuck on what I believe to be my backwards tilting pregnant uterus, but today is only day 14 of my cycle so I’m not.
This is going to be a very long week and a half until I start my cycle. I do feel very intune to my body but my brain knows that I am not pregnant. My brain reasons that this and all the other months I have ever felt/thought I was pregnant is my purgatory. My tell tale heart. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
I even went as far as to ask Jaime this morning what she would have done if we had put Niki up for adoption to a very loving, needy, childless couple. She said “I wouldn’t let you. They could adopt a different child.” So I asked her thoughts if we were to adopt and she said it might be weird for the first week but then normal.
I have read the sites I obsessed over when TTC and my own blog from Niki’s birth and think I may have to test again in a couple days. My bum is uncomfortable from the gas. I “know” I am pregnant. Maybe it’s an tubal pregnancy and my tube will burst and I’ll die. This is getting serious. =)
PS – The due date is 2.2.12
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